Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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