Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
