Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
