I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
