Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
