he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize