Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
