I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
