I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You may now shotgun with the bride
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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