kristin has been a bad kristin
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
