umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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