so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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