you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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