Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i believe in u and ur pee
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
