They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
