I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
