haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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