I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
