Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
