careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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