hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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