You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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