If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
