If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just threw up on my dentist
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
