is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
