Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize