My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
