I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
