Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
