he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
