I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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