You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I intend to get homeless drunk
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize