if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
