How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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