Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize