The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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