Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
