come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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