My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
