I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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