You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
