Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
