I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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