It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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