Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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