Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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