Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
