Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
