I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
