Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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