i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So squirting runs in the family.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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