8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
