We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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