I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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