Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
