Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
