I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
