Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
