I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
