youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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