people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
