So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
