made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
