ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do vagina's smell?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
