i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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